MY PROCESS

Shall I begin by saying that my process has been exciting? No, it hasn’t been. It was only exciting when the big picture became clearer.
A process, peculiar to whatever situation, is strenuous and tasking, requiring endurance and adaptability.

I sit, crosslegged on my bed, my favorite position when I'm thinking, to write about my process, as I'd promised myself, birthed from the conversation I had with my friend. If not for the advices and the wisdom from the conversation, I wouldn't think to write about my process in becoming a fulfilled writer, especially a process laced with several rejections. It's hard to accept rejections as a creative. Let me explain why this is so;

When you write, you dream. Each sentence and every structure happens first in your mind, unaware or not, there's always a structure, with each word, formed into sentences you create, intentionally, and when you have created that piece, you give it your blessing, looking into its eyes, wondering what message would be perceived from the finished work and when someone interpretes accurately, you bellow in the quietness of your smile. But truthfully, it isn't enough, even when you practically draw sweat on paper, and your eyes, seeing mysteries and your heart earnestly wishing that this application will work, guess what?

"You just got a reject mail".😩

But time and time again, I have told myself not to press on, not to keep applying, or rather, in simpler words, "maybe you're so not a writer". Maybe it comes from the need of wanting to be recognized for your works or the need for validation of how good you are; a certain rating at least. But this is all a process.
Acknowledging that this is a process to becoming who I want to be, I decided to ask myself these questions;

How did you write a year ago, has your style of writing changed or have you developed a consistent style of writing recognizable anywhere, have you carved a niche for yourself?
Have you grown, have you learnt, have you improved, and have you become better, also, are you still learning?
These probably should be questions that should be asked when the process stiffens and you can't exactly measure what progress is, or rather, when you are measure progress by means of attaining Mastery, when do I begin to hold a Master's class in my field?

Masters still learn. Otherwise, theirs would be Past-stars rather than Masters.
So this is my process. I learn, I apply, I get rejected or I get accepted, I learn again, I apply again, I persevere, I apply yet again and again and again till I get what I want and I realize that it's a process, it's gets better or not, I do my best.

If I'm going to go out there in shooting my skills shot, why not go all out, decked in style.

I recently applied for another writing gig, yes I did!